The Birds and the Bees
by Tee2007
Summary: Carlisle has The Talk with Edward so things are sure to go awry! The new chapter is finally here, thank you for waiting so patiently. Coming up next is Alice and Rosalie having The Talk with Bella, so stay tuned! Rated T for suggestive situations!
1. Authors Note

**Author's Note**

Yesterday, April Fool's day, was quite an appropriate name for the type of day it was. And I was definitely a fool on this day. The day is gone, and today is a new one, and I'm here to rectify the mistake I made. There are things and people in this world that will never cease to amaze you. But no matter how foolish or childish, or how shocking the situation, there is always something to learn.

_I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him._

**Galileo Galilei**

Understand that when you have expectations of others you're bound to be disappointed. Instead, expect more of yourself and rise to the occasion. I was angry today, but instead of using the anger to fuel hate I will use it to make me better.

_Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy._

**Aristotle**


	2. Chapter 1 The Talk

**AN: So here is my first try at a fan fic. I have been reading through many of your fics and there are so many great ones out there. I have to admit I was frozen into fear of writing my own piece of fiction. Then while over at the Twilight Lexicon I was reading through the Vampire Mating thread when someone mentioned it would be interesting to read something about Carlisle having THE talk with Edward. So while my daughter had a nap, I thought I would give it a shot. It's not very long, but it's my first try. So please R/R.**

**Disclaimer: The Twilight series and all of its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer's - I'm just having some fun with them while waiting for Eclipse to come out!!!**

Edward's POV

I had just pulled into the garage when I heard Esme and Carlisle talking. She was saying something about Carlisle having a talk with me. What did he want to talk to me about? I hadn't broken anything lately so I shouldn't be in trouble.

"There's nothing that he doesn't already know." Carlisle was saying.

"But this is as new to him, as it would be if we were back in 1918. He may be over a century old but he has no 'hand on' experience with girls, Carlisle. Please talk to him, for me?" Esme whispered to him.

Then I heard them kissing and then came Carlisle's thoughts.

"LA LA LA LA LA LA…Kittens are cute and soft, umm, Power Rangers, Dragon Ball Z….Bella... she's so beautiful and perfect." I tried desperately to distract myself from the images going through Carlisle's mind. But thinking about Bella wasn't helping either. How I wish that I didn't hear peoples thoughts all the time.

I had just stepped in the door when I saw Carlisle come into the entry way.

"Ahhh…Edward, just the man I was looking for. Would you join me in the office, I wanted to have a quick chat with you?" Carlisle asked simply.

He was thinking about baseball. He would think of random things like baseball when he didn't want me to know what he was really thinking. Oh god, this was going to be excruciating. I was frowning as I walked into Carlisle's office.

"Why don't you have a seat Edward?"

I sat down and looked at Carlisle waiting for him to start.

"So Edward how are things going with you and Bella?"

"They're great, now that I can see her everyday. I was a fool for leaving her in the first place. I believe Bella has forgiven me, even though I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself for what I put her through. But that's just like Bella – loving, warm, excepting. She's an amazing woman, Carlisle."

"I know she is Edward. Just like you've grown into a wonderful man, I'm proud to say that you're my son. And we don't always make the right choices, even though we have the best intentions. It's what you do now that really counts. And you will have an eternity to make it up to her. I mean once she's like us. And I did promise that I would change her after graduation."

"Well actually, I told her I would do it, if she would marry me first."

"You asked her to marry you? What did she say?" Carlisle's face didn't hide is excitement.

"I think she turned me down actually. She said that her mother wouldn't be very happy if she got married before she was 30."

"Umm…she probably needs sometime to think through everything. Don't worry Edward, she'll come around. I mean so much has happened in the last few weeks…" Carlisle trailed off, and then at the last second he threw in, "And by the way how much has happened between you two, physically?"

I was taken off guard for a moment there. Was he really asking me for intimate details of our relationship? I didn't quite know how to respond.

"I…umm…what…well we've…aaahhh…Carlisle, what exactly are you asking me?"

"Edward, you are a grown man, and I know that you are quite aware of the relationship between a man and a woman, but until now I didn't think it was necessary for us to have this talk."

What talk?? I screamed in my head. He isn't really going to explain how sex works is he? How innocent does he think I am? I live in a house with 3 happily married sexually satisfied couples, not to mention that I've been around for a few decades! I know what happens between a man and woman!!! I couldn't believe we were having this conversation.

Carlisle continued, "see when a man loves a woman there are certain feelings th-"

I stopped him before he could continue, "Carlisle, please, we don't need to have this talk right now. Actually we don't need to have this talk ever. I know the feelings you're talking about – I've felt them all the time since I met Bella. Have you forgotten that I can see what you guys are thinking even when you don't want me to? Even when I don't want to! Look I love Bella, and one day after we're married all the things that I know and have seen," I shuddered, "will make sense to me."

"So does that mean, you and Bella haven't…" Carlisle trailed off.

"No. We haven't. Not that I don't want to, but it's not really possible with her being so breakable and me, well you know…" This is embarrassing. I can't believe I'm talking to my father about making love to Bella. If I was human, I would be as red as Bella when she was embarrassed. Oh Bella, beautiful Bella with her pale skin and delicately pink cheeks. God I loved it when she blushes. Stop thinking about Bella, you can't have these thoughts here, NOW… Ahhh…let's see My Little Pony, cars, grease, punching Emmett in the face. Ahhh…that's better.

Carlisle was saying something about being gentle and careful. Wait!?? What?? Hold on, what was Carlisle saying while I was trying to distract myself from getting too excited.

"Carlisle, what did you just say???"

"I was saying that it is possible for the two of you to be intimate with each other even if Bella is human. But you're right, it's better if you wait till after marriage."

"No, no, no, wait a second. What do you mean we can be intimate with each other, while she's still human?"

"Well Edward if you are gentle and thoughtful as much as is possible in those moments of passion…"

Oh god, I just got a visual of Carlisle being gentle and thoughtful with Esme.

"Ahhh…stop stop, please stop thinking. You know what, I get the idea. Let's just stop right here. I don't want to see any more educational video's of how to make love to your woman. Thanks so much for the talk Carlisle, it was….umm…interesting." I yelled as I dashed from Carlisle's office.

As I was up the first flight of stairs I heard Carlisle call, "if you need protection come and see me…"

I groaned as I made it up to my room. The only thing I needed right now was a lukewarm shower.


	3. Chapter 2 Let's Get It On

**Author's Note: I wasn't going to continue this story, until just recently. Then this morning I woke up with an interesting scene playing in my mind. I definitely had something to do with a certain fan fic that was posted last night. If you haven't already, and you want to know where Bella got the courage read _UnicornGoddess95's "_****_The Birds & The Bees Emmett Style!_****_"_**

**Disclaimer: The Twilight series and all of its characters belong entirely to Stephenie Meyer! The lyrics in italics are from "Let's Get It On" by Barry White.**

I headed straight for my room and hopped into the shower not waiting for the hot water. I needed the cold water to help clear my mind of the far from innocent thoughts that I was having about Bella.

I loved her more than anything on this entire planet and I wanted her in every possible way, but I just couldn't see how it could be, with her being so soft and fragile, and well me being - not.

I could wait until she decided that she would marry me and once she was changed then all of this holding back and chaste kisses would be a thing of the past. I had waited 106 years for her, I could surely wait another couple of months. Couldn't I? Maybe this was the wrong question for the moment.

Well who's to say that she would change her mind about marrying me in the next couple of months? I knew she loved me, but her answer had thrown me off. I hadn't expected her to get anxious about the commitment; and her reaction had caught me off guard as usual. I figured marrying me would be a simple decision compared to giving up her soul to be an undead for an eternity.

Well maybe she loved me, but not enough to marry me. Maybe I had hurt her more than I could even comprehend. I knew she still wasn't completely convinced that I wouldn't leave her again. It was times like these that I so desperately wished I could read her mind. If only I knew exactly what she was thinking I could soothe all her worries. It was rare that people said what they really felt and I could never know Bella's deepest worries and concerns unless she decided to share them with me. I would be patient, and I would be ready to do anything in my power to prove my love to her.

I hopped out of the shower, feeling relieved from my previous predicament, only for the ache to be replaced elsewhere. My heart was hurting at the distance between Bella and I. I had only seen her an hour ago, when Charlie had kicked me out of the house, but I still missed her. I sighed. I could head back towards her house soon only to climb through her window this time. Charlie would be a sleep and I could bask in the presence of my one and only true love.

I zipped down the stairs and out the kitchen door heading for the forest surrounding our home. I would usually go on foot for my nights with Bella, no sense in Charlie seeing my car parked a block away from their home, and getting in more trouble with the man. He already despised me, I'm not sure if he would attempt to shoot me, if he caught me in her bedroom. I chuckled at the thought of him trying to hurt me and keep me away from his daughter. It would be impossible. There is nothing that would keep me away from her, not now, not ever.

I made it to Bella's house in record time and up to Bella's window in one easy leap, quietly sliding the window open and shutting it behind me, all within a few seconds and without so much as a squeak from the old wood of the house.

There was Bella, lying on her back, her gleaming brown hair flowing around her head in an exquisite shimmering halo. Her pale smooth skin, plump red lips, and lidded eyes making her look all the more like an angel.

Just as I had predicated, the moment I set my eyes on her, I felt my heart fill and my stomach flutter. I'm sure my heart would have skipped a beat.

I gently joined her on the bed, slipping my arm under her head and pulling her close to me. Her eyes fluttered opened and she smiled into the kiss. My lips turned up in response, as I pulled her back to gaze into her wise eyes, "Hello beautiful." I whispered.

"Hi." She closed her eyes and leaned towards me again, only to press her lips ever so gently against mine. She pulled away on her own this time. I was so used to stopping her because I couldn't take anymore, it felt like I hadn't gotten enough of her this time. I leaned back in to kiss her again, when she put her hands on my chest and pushed away lightly.

Her eyes twinkled and she had a mischievous grin on her face, "Oh no, not so fast mister. Tonight you're going to do as I say."

"Oh really, and what is that you would like me to do, miss?" I replied, intrigued.

"Well…for the moment this is about you, so why don't you just lie back and enjoy." She was about to get up from the bed, when she turned around and said, "Promise me that you will just stay put and not move."

"Bella…"

"Nope, just promise me. If you love me, you will not ask any more questions and you'll do as I ask."

She was trying to make me feel guilty, which could only mean one thing, she was really up to something. But how bad could it be? I decided to play along, "Okay. I promise."

She got up and headed to her stereo, and that's when I noticed what she was wearing. She had on her usual pajamas, but over her tank top she was wearing a t-shirt and strangely, she was wearing some very warm looking wool tube socks. Maybe she was cold and it didn't help that she slept next to a dead corpse every night.

She hit the play button on her stereo, and the room was filled with the slow sultry rhythms of Barry White.

_I've been really tryin', baby_

_Tryin' to hold back this feelin' for so long_

_And if you feel like I feel, baby_

_Then come on, oh, come on_

My eyes widened in surprise and I was frozen in place, promise or not.

Bella turned slowly, eyeing me seductively. She carefully stepped on to her bed, standing over me, straddling my legs.

"Ch-Ch-Charlie, he's gonna hear," I stuttered.

"Charlie isn't home, we're home alone, Edward." She purred seductively, looking down at me.

"Wh-Wh-When is, is he, wh-where is he?" I wanted to smack myself in the head, why couldn't I get one sentence out right?

"He got called into the station, some emergency. Isn't that wonderful?"

I gulped. I wasn't sure if that was wonderful or not.

_Whoo, let's get it on_

_Ah, babe, let's get it on_

_Let's love, baby_

_Let's get it on, sugar_

_Let's get it on_

_Whoo-ooh-ooh_

Barry White continued to urge us on.

Bella was now swaying to the music, her eyes closed, her arms over her head gentling tracing one arm with the hand of the other.

I was mesmerized and I couldn't seem to pull my eyes away from her body, hovering over mine. As I watched in amazement and awe, she slowly pulled up the hem of her t-shirt and began to pull it over her head as she continued to move to the music. She had it past her torso, and I was transfixed by her curves, when suddenly she stopped. The t-shirt was stuck over her head, and tangled in her arms. She tugged a little harder, teetering on the soft bed.

"Do you need some help with that?" I chuckled, regaining some of my composure. Surely, she wasn't planning to go any further after that little hang up.

"Nope, I've got this under control." She said with a smile, tossing the t-shirt aside.

Okay, maybe I underestimated how serious she was about this. But how far was she really planning on going?

Still dancing to the music, she hopped on one foot, tugging at the sock on the other. She managed to get it off, and she tossed it at me.

I quickly grabbed it and threw it to the ground, not wanting to miss a second of this. I was skeptical, but I really didn't think that my innocent Bella would go all the way.

She was working on the other sock, not very gracefully, but that was all part of the allure she had for me. Clumsy or not, I loved her.

She got rid of the other sock just before she lost her balance.

_I ain't gonna worry, I ain't gonna push_

_Won't push you, baby_

_So come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, baby_

_Stop beatin' 'round the bush, hey_

She slid her thumbs under the waist band of her pants still shaking her hips at me. As she turned on the bed, sticking her butt out at me, her foot tangled in the loose sheets of her bed and she was going down hard, the floor ready to make contact with her perfect face.

The realization of what she was about to do had my usual super-speed on super-slow and it was almost a close call. I grabbed her in the nick of time, her face only inches from the floor. I held her in my arms, flipped her over and pulled her up onto the bed with me.

"Bella, what am I gonna do with you?"

"Didn't I tell you to stay put!!?" She yelled in anger, her face crimson.

"You really wanted a concussion to go along with your strip tease? Bella…I love you…you didn't need to do this for me, but out of curiosity, if the bed sheets hadn't attacked you, how far were you willing to go?

"I guess you'll never find out," She huffed, as she turned on her heel and headed for the door.


	4. Chapter 3 WillieWarmers

**Author's Note: This story has got a mind of it's own now, and I fear for my sanity. I am also slightly ashamed at what I am doing to Mrs. Meyer's characters – I love them dearly, but what do you expect when you have to wait a year for the next book? Once again, thank you to the lovely and talented Unicorn Goddess for being my beta!!! Go read her stuff, after your done here!!! The PE thread at the lexicon had an influence in this chapter…ahem…Linda Roo!!!**

**Disclaimer: The Twilight series and all of its characters belong entirely to Stephenie Meyer! **

I finally convinced Bella to come out of the bathroom. If she had spent another second in there I was planning on break breaking down the door. My bargaining chip was that I wouldn't bring up what had just transpired in her bedroom only moments ago.

It was morning and I was now heading home. I was thinking about her motivations for doing what she did. It was obvious that she wanted more from our relationship, but could I really give her that, now, before she became one of us?

What I never expected was for Bella to put the moves on; regardless I was pleasantly surprised. Bella revealed a new side to her character everyday and she always kept me guessing.

As I thought about how far we could go, Carlisle's words came to mind, _"Well Edward if you are gentle and thoughtful as much as is possible in those moments of passion…" _I shuddered at the memory of that conversation.

He had also mentioned protection…I wondered if Jasper or Emmett had anything like that. It would be a good idea to at least see if it would be durable enough, in the very unlikely chance that Bella and I…went…further.

Once home I dashed up to Emmett and Rosalie's room and rifled through some of their drawers. Most of them were relatively safe, except for the underwear drawers, which I wished I had never laid my eyes upon. I was struggling to erase the image of Emmett prancing around his room wearing a zebra print thong.

Afraid to go any further in the nymphomaniacs' room, I headed for Jasper's room. Surely Alice and Jasper were nowhere as experimental as Emmett and Rosalie. I started with their closet and what I discovered in there had me stumbling backwards. At the very back I uncovered a gladiator uniform, doctor's scrubs, a girl's school uniform, and a French maid outfit.

I rubbed my temples and shook my head to dispel the images, "Isn't anyone normal in this house…"

"What do you mean?" Jasper had just appeared in the doorway, I had been too preoccupied with trying to eradicate the disturbing images in my mind to hear him coming.

"Ahhh nothing, never mind, sorry, I'll get out of your way." I said hastily

"Oh no, wait a minute…what were you doing in here?" Jasper replied as he blocked my exit.

"Nothing, now get out of my way." I stated while I seriously contemplated escaping through the window.

"Hold on," Jasper leaned forward and picked up the feelings in the air, "Why are you embarrassed, disgusted and aroused all together?" Jasper inquired with an amused expression on his face.

I groaned. This wasn't going to be easy to get out of. I sighed, giving up, maybe Jasper could help? "I was looking for…I just wanted to see…I was wondering about…"

"Oh come on spit out you baby, what are you 13?"

"You know what never mind. Now get out of the way."

"Okay okay, I'm sorry," He had his hands up in surrender. "Come on, let me help, what do you want to ask me, you know brother to brother, man to man?"

"I was looking for condoms, okay??" There I said it, albeit in a rush of bumbling words, hoping Jasper wouldn't understand what I said.

As I tried to side step past Jasper who was blocking the door, he put his hands up to stop me, "So you and Bella are finally going to do the deed, huh? Way to go my man!" He put out his fist for me to hit.

"No, it's not like that," My shoulders slumped forward in defeat, "I just…Jasper, can we keep this between the two of us? I mean can you keep this conversation from the rest of the family, including Alice?"

"Of course, of course…finally you're letting someone help you! It's about time; we were thinking you were going to explode!" He chucked a little then caught my expression and composed his face again. "Sorry, I couldn't help it…we've all be waiting. We've…well…okay never mind that, what do you want to know?"

I thought about it for a moment, and realized, what do I have to lose? It was only my dignity and after this I'm sure I wouldn't have that either, "So, condoms…do you have any?"

"No…why would you need those?" He genuinely looked perplexed.

I listened to his mind, once I realized he was being sincere, I responded, "Well, if, and huge IF, Bella and I were to ever go all the way, there would be an issue, with the, you know, bodily fluids exchanged.

Jasper still looked lost, "Venom and humans – they don't mix very well."

I watched Jasper's face go from confused to thoughtful, "Ahhh…right…okay, so I don't have any and I doubt Emmett does. Plus, trust me, you really don't want to go searching through his room – you never know what you'll find."

I cringed, "Yeah, tell me about it."

"So let's go buy some!"

"I can't do that Jasper, have you gone mad? If someone saw me, what would they think? I can't do that to Bella…"

"Hey don't worry, that's what brothers are for, I'll go in!"

This was probably the best way; Jasper was more mature and, more importantly, quieter and much more discrete than the rest. He would be my best bet. Hesitantly I agreed, "Okay, but I'm driving."

We headed for Ron's Food Market not too far from our home. We pulled up, and Japer went in. He came back out empty handed.

"They were sold out," He said with a laugh.

"Sold out…really?" Just my luck, the one time _I_ want to buy condoms, they're out.

"Yup. Come on Edward, next gas station, step on it."

"Why are you so excited about this? It's not like you need them!"

"Well for one, I'm happy for you, and two, and I want to see what they're like!" Jasper replied with a goofy grin on his face.

"Jasper, that's disgusting, I don't want to see anymore!" I stated as Jasper was starting to picture Alice and it was getting explicit.

We tried a couple more gas stations and all of them with the same result – they were fresh out.

"Did the whole town decide to have sex this weekend? What the heck is going on?" Just as I was ranting about the lack of rubber in this town, Coach Clapp pulled up next to us in his beat up hatchback.

I slumped down in my seat trying to hide but it was useless. He must have seen us as he pulled up, because as he stepped out of his car he leaned down and knocked on Jasper's window.

"Great." I muttered.

"Hey boys, how's it going?" Coach inquired.

"Not bad, but it would be better if we could find some condoms in this town!" Jasper replied after rolling down his window.

I hissed under my breath, what the heck was Jasper thinking. Completely mortified, I slinked further in my seat, turned my head and looked out the window, wishing that I could somehow dissolve into my seat.

"I should've locked the window," I muttered to myself.

"Need some willie-warmers, do ya? Come and help yourselves, I've got tons of these little love socks," With that he popped his trunk to reveal a very large assortment of condoms that filled his entire trunk area.

'Had he flew the cuckoo's nest?' I thought disgusted by the prospect of what he needed his collection for.

My eyes quickly passed over the names on some of the packages – ribbed, warming control, flavored, glowing, non-latex, studded, my mind reeled with all this new information. I hadn't realized this was going to be so complicated.

'Wow, what does he need all of those for,' Jasper snickered to himself.

As if Coach Clapp had my power he said, "I know what you guys are thinking, and it's not like that, these are for the sex education classes at school. The condom companies think they're being responsible by sending me samples," He waved his hand dismissively as if the entire six cubic feet of his trunk covered in square foil packages was not in the least bit unusual.

"Hey Eddie, pop the trunk!"

I scrambled to get back in the car, completely horrified at the actions of my brother, as he grabbed an armful of condoms. Yet, I couldn't say a word. I was speechless and there didn't seem to be an escape from this nightmare.

"Good boy, are you sure you don't need more?" Then Coach Clapp thought to himself, 'My, my, these boys are going to be busy!'

As if the hundred packages Jasper had snagged wasn't enough. What were adults thinking these days? Had they no decency? Acting so casually about the issue would have you persecuted in my time.

"Nope sir, these will do. Thank you very much." Jasper was completely shameless.

He plopped down in the seat next to me with a bunch of condoms in his hands.

"Jasper, what were you thinking?" I hissed.

"What?" He laughed, "I thought you wanted to test these out?"

I just stared at him. Trying to explain to him what my problem was would be pointless, and I wanted to get as far from this place and Coach Clapp as possible.

I started up the Volvo and sped off in the direction of our home. No sooner had we turned on to the highway, Jasper had several packages ripped open, the wrappers scattered on the floor of my car and was inspecting the condoms carefully. Stretching them out and then letting them go with a snap.

'Why oh, why did I think bringing Jasper was a good idea?' I thought to myself.

Jasper had the window down and was holding one of the darn things out the window, letting it fill with air. It looked like one of those balloons clowns used to make animal shapes.

I punched him in the arm, "Jasper cut it out. If you let that go and we get pulled over for littering, I am going to kill you!"

"You know what; these would be perfect for a water fight. Extra durable - they'll hold up much better when I hurl this at Emmett's head! I wonder if they had any titan sized?"

"Jasper, you promised we would keep this to ourselves."

As I pulled up in our driveway, Jasper leaped out of the car, an evil gleam in his eye, "Don't worry Edward, I won't tell anyone that you asked me to go condom shopping with you," Then a little louder, "Oh Emmett, come out here, I have something I want to show you!"

It was pointless, Jasper was so lost in his battle plans that I didn't even bother to comment. I decided to creep away with a few condoms tucked away in my jacket pocket before I could become a victim of this twisted water fight. Thanks to Coach Clapp and the abundance of prophylactics he had provided Jasper with, I had a sinking feeling that in no time our yard was going to resemble the grounds after Woodstock.


	5. Chapter 4 This Might Hurt

AN: Thank you to my lovely beta, Marcy, who is very prompt and punctual. Some of you have commented on the purpose of condoms in this little story. I assure you I understand that the condoms are not necessary as a method of contraception. I am also aware that vampires' bodily fluids are replaced with venom. Hence the need for condoms because I'm thinking for Bella's first time maybe it wouldn't be a good idea that she changed into a vampire.

**Disclaimer: All the characters appearing in this work are copyright Stephenie Meyer and they are not used with permission. No infringement of these copyrights is intended, and all original characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No financial gain is being made by this work. **

**This Might Hurt by ECABS**

I clicked the automatic locks of the Volvo, breathing a sigh of relief. I was safe. It was more frightening to be involved in Jasper and Emmett's extracurriculars than to fight a rogue. Fighting another vampire was clear-cut—no surprises there. Fists, hands, feet, legs. Kill your opponent. Sling shots, water balloon launchers, super soakers and any other homemade weaponry made to launch long "water balloons" was something I just couldn't handle. Of course, anyone with one iota of shame and decency would pick bloodthirsty vampires, too.

Relieved to be safe within my silvery cocoon, I headed down my drive. But I really wasn't escaping disaster. I was potentially headed into a minefield of awkward conversation, embarrassing innuendo, and hormonal chaos. Tucked safely into the jacket pocket were the condoms I had snagged from Jasper's overflowing pile of ammo. I was heading to Bella's house with condoms in my pocket. I shook my head. What the hell was I thinking? But, I knew exactly what I was thinking: Bella standing on her bed, swaying above me. And Bella stripping off the layers of clothing she was wearing.

Of course Bella was not like the lecherous teenage girls that prowled high schools these days. Even small towns like Forks weren't safe from these lusty girls. Jessica Stanley's flushed face came to mind and the disturbing images I caught running through her head at the time. The lascivious _girl _was visualizing doing some very indecent things to my brothers, god help me – Carlisle and me. Not necessarily in that order—apparently her motto was 'the more the merrier.' I shuddered. But Bella was no Jessica, or any other girl at Forks High for that matter. It made me wonder at her motivation. It was obvious she hadn't intended to go all the way. Otherwise she wouldn't have added the socks to the already ridiculous outfit. And I liked the way her mind worked. The act of removing clothing was more seductive then baring skin. And even though she didn't reveal a patch of ivory skin I would be lying if I said I wasn't turned on. Clumsy awkward strip tease and all. Of course the greatest pleasure came from the blush at the end of her routine. Well, not the _end_ of her routine, because she wasn't quite finished when she tripped. I smiled at the memory. It was still her blood that held the greatest allure—pain and joy. She was right, I was a masochist.

So Bella wanted to please me. Her little stunt was about doing something for me. Maybe that meant she wanted more from our relationship? At the very least she had thought about our lack of physical…connection. Not that I wasn't physically attracted to her. How could I not be? Primal instincts aside, everything about her drew me in. But there was something that shone through the curves and pale skin. It was like buttery summer sunshine that even when you tried to ignore it, it beckoned you with its warmth. She pulled me in to her light and I was hopelessly addicted. The physical relationship wasn't what I needed. It wasn't what I craved.

We would talk. About everything, and I would explain it all to her. I would let her know what I felt for her—physically and spiritually. She would know that I wanted her in every way, but that we could wait. Surely her expectations didn't differ too greatly from mine. I patted the pocket that held the little square foils. Those were for just in case. It wouldn't hurt to see her reaction if she thought I wanted to go all the way. Maybe then I would _really_ know what she was thinking. My smile grew as I sped through Forks.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Bella, sweetheart, please, just stay still…I don't want to hurt you."

"Edward – it's hurting!"

"I know, but that's because you keep moving. I really need you to not move. I need to get a good grip. If you keep wiggling around like you are then it's going to hurt. Now just hold still for a second."

"Ow, ow, ow, owwww! Edward, stop!"

"I haven't done anything yet! Bella, just focus on a point somewhere in the room and let me just get this painful part out of the way. You'll feel so much better in a minute, I promise."

"How about I look in your eyes instead. They're gold today." She sighed and her body finally eased.

"Okay. See that's better. Now on the count of three okay?" She nodded back at me, her eyes solemn and focused on mine.

"One… Two…" I grabbed her leg, keeping the skin taut under my firm fingers and tore the bandage away from the almost healed scrapes on her knee.

She yelped in pain and I placed my cool hand over skin that was turning red quickly from where the band-aid had almost melded with her skin.

"You said on three." Bella pouted.

"It's better to catch you off guard. And I wouldn't have had to trick you if you had listened to me in the first place. I told you to remove that band-aid days ago! It only gets worse the longer you leave it on. You should know that by now." I frowned at her, trying to keep the scolding look in place. She was beautiful when she pouted and I almost cracked a smile.

"I'm going to pretend that you didn't just rip a layer of skin off _and_ make fun of me." Bella got up and headed for the living room. We had the afternoon to ourselves. It was a perfect opportunity to discuss our relationship. I was going to get to the bottom of her feelings and find out what she really thought.

I gave Bella my best seductive grin, "Why don't we go upst-" I quickly moved to catch Bella as she swayed on her feet. Maybe that was too much dazzling. Toning it down, I continued, "Why don't we go talk upstairs Bella?"

She simply nodded. When she didn't move I scooped her up in my arms and headed for the stairs. I held back the grin threatening to spread on my face as she gazed starry eyed up at me. I chuckled softly. "Keep breathing Bella."

I set her down carefully on the bed and focused on not consciously dazzling her. I wasn't sure how to broach the subject. Should I bring up her alter ego – Candy – the stripper? Or maybe I could start with something simple, like how long we've been 'dating'. Obviously our relationship couldn't exactly be defined by the word 'dating'. For one thing we were much more than just girlfriend and boyfriend; and such a normal term couldn't possibly apply to a century old vampire and his teenaged human fiancée. Human boys had never been a source of my wisdom, but perhaps, just this once I could use a little human experience. I tried to remember the thoughts teenaged boys had on the topic and how they addressed the issue. I was suddenly sorry I tried to recall what a hormone crazed human boy thought about sex. I recalled with vivid clarity why I had suppressed such memories in the first place. My mind was suddenly contaminated with Mike's thoughts on the topic in regards to Jessica. His strategy was show first talk later. How that boy played sports was a miracle, he obviously didn't possess any hand eye coordination. I shook my head and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Edward, are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? It looks like you're thinking about something really hard." She watched me as I paced. I stopped in front of her and stared.

"I'm just going come out and say it. It's about us…making love." Bella's mouth dropped.

"Bella, close your mouth. Knowing your luck something is going to fly in there."

She pressed her lips together dumfounded. A rosy blush crept from her cheeks towards her ears and down her jaw. It was almost too much to keep myself from trailing kisses down the curve of her neck. But I was _pretending_ that I wanted to go all the way. Considering the topic of conversation and Bella's tantalizing smell if my lips touched her skin I could easily lose my focus. Not to mention Bella might just go into cardiac arrest if after that admission I follow up with seductive action.

I retreated towards the rocking chair to put some distance between us. I could dazzle her from there if she wasn't forthcoming with her thoughts about our intimacy.

I could almost hear the thoughts churning in that lovely head of hers. It was like being on the very edge of your cell phone network. If you took one-step forward your phone worked, an inch the other way and there was nothing but the annoying blinking words 'NO RECEPTION'. Only as I got closer to her, I could more easily guess what she was thinking, but there never was the echo of her beautiful soprano in my head. So I had to settle with watching her expression. Some of the faces she made almost made the torture of not knowing her every thought worth it. Especially in moments like these. I loved the concentrated look that came over her face when she was trying to slow her heart rate and ease the blood from her face.

"I love you Bella."

She licked her lips and swallowed. Along with the heady rose in her cheeks her mouth had gone dry. "I love you too, Edward." She gulped.

"I've been thinking a lot about us, Bella. Our relationship. What you mean to me. You being my fiancée and all." I grinned at that last comment. I knew she hated to be called that, but I'd like to think she was softening to the idea.

"Wait Edward, I never said ye-"

"It's okay Bella, I know. But we're not talking about my proposal right now. This is really about what we both want. Physically." I looked at her meaningfully.

She blinked a few times and said, "I...us…physically?" She cleared her throat.

I stopped and listened to the voices in my head. It was Rosalie and Alice. They were three minutes from Bella's house.

"Did you have plans with Alice and Rosalie today?" Alice hadn't said anything making plans with Bella. I wondered if she had a vision of Jasper and I in front of the convenience store.

She seemed thankful for the change in topic and instantly perked up, "Yes! Why? Is she here?" She stood up to go to the window, frowning as she pulled the curtain back. "Rosalie is with her?"

"Yes Rosalie is with her. What are you guys doing?"

"I'm not sure. She called right before you got here and said something about a girl's night. I didn't know Rosalie was coming." Her frown deepened.

"Bella, if Rosalie is coming, it's of her own accord. Oddly enough she really is trying." I went over to the window and put my arms around her, finally giving in and dropping feather light kisses down the curve of her neck. "It'll be fine. I'm sure it will. I'll miss you though. If you want I can tell them to come back another time and we can finish our discussion?"

"No. No. It's fine." She said a little too quickly and I rubbed my nose against the nape of her neck. "I'm sure you're right. Spending some time with Rosalie might be nice." She squirmed as my breath tickled her skin and she tried to sound cheerful at the prospect of spending the evening with Rosalie.

I turned her in my arms and kissed her gently, pausing long enough to savor every inch of her soft lips. She put her hand against my chest, inches from the condoms and I hoped she wouldn't feel them through the light fabric of my jacket.

I pulled away and grabbed her hand, towing her behind me as I went to get the door. I opened the door just as Alice and Rosalie climbed the steps, small carry-on luggage in tow.

I turned back to look at Bella's face. She recognized Alice's make up kit rolling to a stop behind the peppy looking Alice. "Did you change your mind about our talk?"

She ignored me and said, "Hey Alice!" And a little more shyly, "Hi Rosalie. How are you guys?"

"I guess not." I whispered to her.

"Okay buddy, playtime is over. This is a girl's only party. You're going to have to go." Alice pushed me out the door.

"Plus you really should get home Edward." Rosalie added.

Alice snickered, "Maybe the frozen _water balloons_ weren't such a great idea."

"Frozen water balloons?" Bella and I both questioned.

"Well yesterday I went to all the convenience stores in town and bought out their supply of _water balloons_. I filled them and froze them last night. I figured Emmett and Jasper would have fun with something harder." She continued to giggle.

My eyes opened wide but before I could say anything Bella asked, "You bought water balloons at a convenience store? Why didn't you just go to the dollar store?"

Alice eyed me pointedly, "Well I was looking for the long, banana shaped ones." Rosalie and Alice both grinned exposing sparkling white teeth.

I cleared my throat, "Okay well I guess I better go then. I don't want to encroach on special girl time."

"Good idea Eddie." Rosalie smirked.

I growled a response but was cut short by Alice's words, "Now now Eddie, don't be so grumpy. You aren't upset that you don't get to use the condom in your front jacket pocket are you?"

My mouth opened but my mind was like space - a vast expanse of nothing. "Shut your mouth Edward, something might fly in." Alice and Rosalie giggled. Bella's shock registered on her face. Her eyes widened and her cheeks darkened once again to a deep red. Just as I was about to plead my case Alice shut the door.

I moved to pound on the door but Alice's warning rang through my head, 'Don't come back until Sunday morning or I'll tell her all about the _water balloons_ and Coach Clapp.'


End file.
